Stuck Here.

So the lion fell in love with the lamb. October passed, and i guess so did November, you would've thought I would've learned something... it only makes sense but predator was ok too, not that it makes sense, not that it should, and not that you're reading this, not that I care because fuck you that's why. It can only make sense if you're willing to listen. And you're not, I hope it makes sense to you because I don't get it, then again I'm the one writing it, and I'm running out of glitter. I'm running out of glitter and I can't change the past, more importantly I can't change who I am. Am I happy? why do I want to change myself so much. Because fuck me, that's why. I guess that makes sense.

The Easy Days.

some days are harder than the others, some days are harder... THEN.. the others. some days are fucking easy, maybe too easy it doesn't seem right that i get what i have sometimes it feels like things are just handed to me. but then some days are harder, the memories drill through my mind from one temple to the other crossing the most painful path it could find, erasing every other emotion that brings joy and creating its path of doom and mise-fucking-ry in my head. who brings these conflicts on me? certainly not me, oh God not me, I'm perfect, this is a well known fact, not her, her, her or even her.. although I'm not sure about her... but if even that its not their fault either. I don't get it, is it my fault if i get sick for eating spicy food? or the food company... who do i sue when my mind wont stop fucking spinning around like even the most elaborate state of the art pieces of machinery need an update... as for myself, the most meticulous set of neurons ever created. the perfect mind your majesty and ruler I am still waiting on my v.2.0

i need a good excuse for the alcohol abuse.

12 months 20 pounds hooah level high but going down quick, lost initiative, lost control, don't feel good don't feel bad just sick and tired of being sick and tired. Drank until the bottle was empty but the time still passed and the situation didn't. My body felt sore so I kept on pushing. Set my mind to something so it gets harder but I try, I swear I try. I gave him a free punch to my chest and I got kicked in the balls, then I was too scared to do anything I was too scared that if I said anything maybe I wouldn't even had gotten kicked in the balls I didn't say anything so that maybe soon I wont get kicked but I'll get stabbed in the chest too, like they said I'm supposed to. I, I, I, Me, Me, Me, too many corrections, but I try, I swear I try.